Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Delicious Booty... Perhaps A Bit Too Literally

It's olive season, so I bought some freshly cured olives at the Farmer's Market. I had heard about these particular olives on the local NPR station - people were raving about them. The olive man himself told me that people were waiting for him before Market even opened to buy buckets of his "water-cured" olives.

They look good, don't they? Funny... because they TASTE LIKE ASS!

I'm not kidding. I sampled one at the market and paused. "These taste like... a horse," I said to the olive man. He laughed. I said, "No, really, these taste like a barn smells, do you know what I mean?" He shrugged and said "Yeah."

Um... ok. So, because I know next to nothing about olives but wanted to be down with the early-morning olive hunters, I bought a small container.

And anyhow, I like things that taste barnyard-ish: like all sorts of goat cheeses. I love the goaty flavor! And I like things that people often say smell bad - like very moldy cheese and uber fishy things. So I figured I just needed to acquire a taste.

I'm still working on it. The olives still taste like the stink of a cow patty on a hot day. If there's anyone out there who can confirm that water-cured olives are SUPPOSED to taste like this, I would feel a whole heck of a lot better about continuing to try to eat them.

Luckily, I also bought these...

These are dry-cured olives (cured with salt), jarred with garlic slices and chili peppers. Friggin divine. The opposite of ass.


At 1:10 PM, Anonymous lisaSD said...

Note to the Olive PR Assoc. of America: Do not let EP do your commercials! LOL And may I suggest a new tagline for your blog: "I like things that taste barnyard-ish."

Thanks for a good laugh!

At 1:43 PM, Blogger Liz said...

Brave of you to say anything. I usually seem to end up leaving these places beaming insincerely with a very light wallet - completely silently. I wonder whether there are assertiveness correspondence courses you can take which specifically address shopping at markets?

At 5:28 PM, Blogger Easily Pleased said...

Oh squeezeweasel, I feel your pain! How often do I grab something at the FM, only to have it weighed and the person says, "That's nine dollars, fifty." WHAT? FOR A GODDAMN MELLON?! But I often feel too embarrassed to say, "Forget you! I'm no sucker!" which is precisely what I should say. Clearly, I AM a sucker. When you find the Market Assertiveness course, sign me up.

At 5:52 PM, Blogger Rachael said...

I just bought fresh, uncured olives and am going to try to do something with them...thanks for narrowing my choices. Water curing? Off the list.

At 2:15 PM, Blogger Foodie Universe said...

I love olives. I am going to try making my own garlic marinated olives. And I'm so intimidated by the prospect of one-on-one market interaction that I won't even shop at a booth that isn't heavily populated, where I might have to reject someone's food personally, so I've never even stopped by the olive booth, though I've wanted to. But why would you cure them in water?


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